Rock mom Virginia Hanlon Grohl shares her Mother's Day pride
by Jay Gabler
May 10, 2019
Above, listen to an excerpt from an episode of The Current's daily Music News podcast. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, or wherever else you get your podcasts. You can also sign up for a daily Music News e-mail and join our Facebook group.
This Sunday is Mother's Day, and in honor of the occasion I talked with maybe the most famous rock star mom out there: Virginia Hanlon Grohl, mother of Dave Grohl (Nirvana, Foo Fighters). She's the author of the fascinating book From Cradle to Stage, in which she profiles other moms of famous musicians. We talked about what she's learned over the course of the project.
Jay Gabler: Talking about your book, which I've really enjoyed, From Cradle to Stage: you've written and talked about the origins of that project. You didn't set out to just write about your own experiences but you actively sought out other music star moms.
Virginia Hanlon Grohl: I was very curious about first of all where they were, why they weren't enjoying it like I was...and the more I thought about it, the more I thought they're women like me, probably, and I just wanted to meet them, find out about them. So it was a joyous experience. It was really wonderful to meet people, and we bonded instantly because we had this unusual thing in common. It was a great journey. I really enjoyed it.
What surprised you about the various moms you met and spoke with?
Well, their life stories and histories were drastically different, as you'd noted from reading the book. Their ages vary greatly too. Some of them are in their 90s now. And you know, the history that they've lived through is profound and has had great effects on their [children's] music — from apartheid in South Africa to living in Nazi prison camps and others growing up in military families and so on. So many different experiences. And then when it came to raising the musicians, that's when they had everything in common. When [their children] became mad about music and when they were insistent that that was all they wanted to do and how they would drop out of school, all our stories were pretty much the same.
It's not necessarily an easy moment for any family. For some families it was tougher than others, it sounds like.
Definitely, yeah. Geddy Lee's mom had come to a country where she didn't speak the language, didn't have a job, had no money and invested her entire being into providing more for her children. And education was a huge part of that. So her disappointment was shattering. Others had accepted more quickly and more easily. When David started, he started in little tiny punk clubs with, I don't know, maybe 20 to 50 people in them, all crowded in and moving really fast. Then as his bands changed, he went from smaller to larger to larger to larger. Now I think they just get dropped into the arena right away, so that's very different too.
Among the hard moments, there are definitely proud moments as well. Clearly you've had your share. What are some of your favorite moments as a rock mom?
David worked with a group of children in the Los Angeles area who had lots of issues that kept them from fulfilling their daily chores and school work, and someone suggested that they try to use music therapy. So it was somebody's idea to call him in and have them engage, creating a band and creating music together. They worked together for quite a period of time and they had a recital and they performed in front of a fairly large audience in a nice venue. Seeing them perform, that was among the moments [where I was] so overwhelmed by the thought of how joyous they were. It was life-changing, it was really amazing.
I did get turned down by some people that I reached out to. So those might have been the stories that weren't so happy. Most of the people who said yes — some of them had to be talked into it — were stories that turned out to be good, happy and all of them that I asked were successful. So the ones that turned me down, I don't know. I'm sure there are many other versions of this story out there that aren't quite so happy.
Do you have any mother's day rituals or plans?
You know, it's been different every year. I've spent Mother's Day in different places of the world and in different cities in this country. I don't know what the plan is this year, actually. I better get on that, I better find out!