Mary Lucia: Q&A with guitarist and Pug Dad, Ryan Paul Plewacki
by Mary Lucia
December 13, 2016
Ryan Paul Plewacki is an insanely talented guitar player in the bands Sleep Study and The Honeydogs. As a Pug parent to Ringo and Starkey, I think the time has come to introduce the world to two of the ill-est Pugs in the Twin Cities.
How did you come to be parents to Ringo and Starkey?
My brother and I had bad allergies growing up, so we had a Lhasa Apso because it didn't shed, but I always wanted Pugs. Every year for Christmas, I was given a Pug calendar and, even as a self-conscious teenager, I hung 'em proud.
Shortly after getting married, my wife Mindy and I started talking about getting a dog. We called a breeder in the newspaper and asked what the process was for getting a black male. She told us she had one and that we should come out that night. So, we piled in the Toyota and drove to Glencoe, Minn., to "look" … Of course, we came home with Ringo. It was super sudden, and we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We're pretty sure he was the "aggressive puppy," and that's why he was the last one left.
We were — only slightly — more prepared for Starkey a year later. We had just bought a house with a yard and were no longer in a cramped apartment with a spazzy puppy barking at everyone going in and out of the CC Club. That same breeder sent me a photo of a black Pug puppy with a white spot on his chest. And again, we piled in the car and drove out to Glencoe. This time, we didn't bother to disillusion ourselves by saying we were just going to "look."
In what ways does Ringo share the personality of an 80-year-old man from Boca?
Ringo is the serious one of the two. The weight of the world rests on his wrinkly, crabby shoulders. He's literally the "get off my lawn" dog at the window. Or, "get off my street", "you're riding your bike too fast", "fix your muffler", "your jacket is too bright." He also makes sure that any dog/cat/livestock/velociraptor on the television is properly barked at. We anxiously sit with the remote in our hands in case we must quickly change the channel.
What is the familial dynamic of the boys now that Harrison has joined the pack?
It's surprisingly great. Ringo decided that we brought Harrison home for him. He's taken the responsibility of his role with a lot of gravity. In the first month, if I were in another room when Harrison would cry, Ringo would dart to whatever part of the house I was in to inform me I was needed. He was like an asthmatic Lassie.
Starkey has gone on as if nothing has changed, and it's totally refreshing. If I ever have one of those days where I've been elbow-deep in poop, chin-high in spit-up and the kid is finally down for a nap after 45 minutes of crying, I go hang out with Starkey. He'll be doing, you know, whatever, man.
Where is the favored spot to drop a deuce in the house? (Note that I'm already assuming that all Pugs are never quite house trained.)
The Executive Washroom in our house is in the nursery. It's not a resentment thing; the nursery used to be the guest room, and we rarely went in there. The dogs could use the comforts of the indoor space when it was raining (or snowing, or windy, or the grass was freshly mowed) and by the time we'd find it, because of their short memories, they'd have plausible deniability. It's quite brilliant.
If the Pugs had a sitcom, what would its premise be? Who would play the unfiltered, offbeat neighbor?
It would have to be a cop sitcom. Ringo is the stubborn, somewhat dimwitted ranking officer who earned his position with loyalty and elbow grease. He doesn't take sh*t from anyone and he works alone … until the Captain assigns him a younger, smaller, sharper partner named Starkey who pranks his older colleague, but makes up for it by having the cunning ingenuity to solve the capers and let Ringo think it was his plan all along. They'd have to allow humping on TV though, because Ringo still really likes to remind his partner who's boss.
How long did it take you to figure out that living with Pugs makes food taste better, the sun shine brighter and that it is essential to have a camera at the ready at all times?
You know, most dog people will talk about how their animals became family, and those who aren't dog people don't get it. I've had cats and that's a totally different dynamic. In general, dogs embed themselves into our lives and Pugs are no different, but I feel like they go deeper than the dog I had when I was growing up.
Mindy and I have daily routines, and the Pugs are part of all of it (save showering). They're there to make us laugh more times in a 24-hour period than we would otherwise. They're there to remind us to relax. They're there to check us when we're taking ourselves too seriously — and they're always there. The most exciting part of their day is simply knowing that their owners exist. It's not possible for that to not affect my disposition.
If the boys had their own band, who would be Liam and who would be Noel? Describe their first gig.
I've actually thought about this very scenario. Starkey is a bit more sharp-witted than Ringo, and I could easily see him as Noel. Ringo would have no problem hurling the word "potato" as an insult and would probably think Liam got off with a good burn on that one. I don't know if Starkey could keep up with Noel's stern demeanor though.
I have no idea how a gig would go, but afterward Ringo would be letting everyone know where they screwed up while Starkey would be waxing poetic about the "vibe."
If Ringo and Starkey stole your credit card, what charges would you find a month later?
Cow hooves. They'd bank all their efforts on cow hooves. We used to give them to the boys in lieu of rawhides, but they stink so freaking bad that we get them antlers now. They chew the antlers, but they're thinking about cow hooves.
Surely you've imagined what celebrity human voices they would each have…
Somehow they're both Wolfman Jack.
As a fellow Pug parent, what are your insights to us as humans who choose them exclusively and happily embrace their buzzsaw-snoring, weather-finicky, clown-college personalities.
You've been a Pug owner longer than me, so I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir here, but:
1. Other Pug owners assume an unspoken bond because of our choice in dog breed. This permits them to talk to other random Pug owners as if they've been friends since birth. And they're totally right. Not only should we accept this, it's a lot cooler when we participate in it. Yes, I stop complete strangers on the street, pet their Pugs and tell them about my own.
2. Buy that "Pug Mom"/"Pug Dad" shirt. Buy the bumper sticker. Buy the coffee mug. Get a Pug tattoo. You know you want to. Buy them! Wear that sh*t with pride! You'll feel better about yourself after you've made that leap.
3. Don't do like we did with Ringo and spend a lot of money on dog training. We went through a few different levels, and he still does what he wants. Starkey never saw a day of classes and he does what he wants, too. And really, why would we want to keep them from that? If your house guests or neighbors have a problem with a dog who doesn't listen unless you have a treat in your hand, that's their problem.
Do you even know where you end and they begin?
I wish I could go back and see the kind of person I was before the Pugs. I know that they've taught me a lot and prepared me for parenthood. I think they unlock a very specific part of you that can never be filled with anything else. As a self-proclaimed "Pug Dad" (it says so on my coffee mug), I guess the line between us is blurrier than I imagined it would be.
Resources
Ryan Paul Plewacki - official site
